


How to Leave your body

by trubenblack



Series: The Good and The Bad [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety and dissociation are described in this so be careful but it shouldn't be anything triggering, Basically Andrew has a bad day, Depression, Dissociation, Literally nothing graphic or anything i promise, M/M, Minor rape/Non con Memories, Neil Helps as best he can, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, but it gets soft dont worry, this is not as bad as these tags make it sound i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 02:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16232687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trubenblack/pseuds/trubenblack
Summary: Andrew wakes up feeling like shit, his day goes on being shit but at least he has Neil to help clear the fog away a bit.





	How to Leave your body

It was a bad day.

 

No actually, it was a really fucking bad day. He didn’t want to get up at all, he didn’t want even to move. He hated that his memory had decided to keep the dream that he had had last night and play it over and over again. He hated the mix of memories that it was twisted from. He didn’t want to do this. 

 

“Andrew!!! Neil!!! Get up we have practice now.” Kevin screamed impatiently from the room next to theirs. Next to him, Neil groaned but did as he was asked leaving Andrew lying there curled up. Andrew didn’t want to get up, his head hurt so much he didn’t even know if he could. Unfortunately for him though, Andrew Minyard does not show weakness to anyone, and so he had to get up. He rolled over to find Neil’s blue eyes on him, with concern showing in them but he glared at that concern until Neil left to go make breakfast for himself. Concern meant weakness, and weakness led to pain, so much fucking pain. His head ached, everything ached, he was so tired.

 

Practice passed in a hazy blur, he was vaguely aware of Kevin yelling at him but it didn’t seem to matter much until Kevin decided he was angry enough to come and shove at Andrew’s shoulder. The shock was the only reason that Neil got to Kevin before him. Or at least that’s what he told himself, his head too fuzzy for him to really be able to fight anyways. He was dimly aware that there was a brawl going on, and lots of yelling, but his head felt like it had bees buzzing around inside of it. Bees, ah yes, he should probably call Bee, but that would be admitting weakness and right now all he wanted to do was smoke a cigarette or die... maybe… death did seem a little too tedious right now, maybe he just wanted to sleep.

 

He’s snapped back into focus by a hand coming up in front of his eyes, it’s Neil, his blue eyes concerned but still angry from what seems to have been a nasty fight if his split lip is anything to go by. From where someone, Boyd maybe? Is helping Day up from the floor it looks like Neil won.

 

“-drew, Andrew!” Neil’s voice managed to bite through the haze, which was once again clouding his thoughts. Why couldn’t he think? What the fuck was going on? He wanted Neil to hug him. He wanted Neil twenty fucking feet away from him so he couldn’t touch him. He wanted Neil but he  **couldn’t** want Neil because wanting is weakness, and Andrew Minyard Is Not Weak. 

 

He’s spiraling and he thinks Neil sees it because he asks the three words, which Andrew responds to with a nod. Neil takes his wrist and he feels something within him settle but at the same time his skin crawls from being touched. It’s too much and not enough and he doesn’t know whether to hold his hand or shove him away. Neil seems to realize and instead moves until he’s simply leading Andrew by his sleeve. It looks like he says something to Wymack but right now focusing on what is Too Much.

 

Somehow Andrew ends up in the passenger seat of the Maserati and out of his exy gear with Neil driving, but not toward the dorms, it looks like they’re heading towards Colombia. He tries to get his voice to work.

“Class?” It comes out cracked, rough and unused, even that one word feels like so much effort, maybe he shouldn’t have talked. 

Neil looks a little surprised that Andrew spoke but simply responds with “It’s fine neither of us have tutorials today, just lectures and we’ll work out what we’ll do about the tutorials tomorrow if we don’t feel like going back.”

 

Andrew could sense that  _ we _ meant  _ you  _ and that when they went back depended on whether he felt up to going back. He should probably be annoyed at being read so well, he should probably be annoyed at Neil pulling his martyr shit and skipping classes for him. But he didn’t have the energy to be annoyed, so he just slumps back into his seat and fell asleep.

 

He's woken by the car stopping and a soft “Andrew” from Neil who hadn’t even moved yet, who would probably happily not move ever again if it meant Andrew was feeling better. Andrew wanted to hate that, but even after sleeping, his movements felt sluggish. He felt like he was in a dream, but it couldn’t be a dream because his dreams were never this nice. His dreams were filled with blood and pain and whispers from voices of men who he’s glad are dead. He shudders at the thought of them, throwing himself out of the car as if he can run away from that thought progression and the shock of heat outside is a welcome distraction. Neil makes a little surprised noise but gets out of the car and walks up to the house without prying. It was nice that he didn’t pry, Andrew hated people prying, they just ended up hurting themselves or him more with their “advice”.

 

“What do you need?” Neil’s voice was soft, the kind he used when he was talking to that stray cant he found one time outside Eden’s. Andrew didn’t think his voice would work so he just shrugged and made his way towards the couch. He didn’t want to deal with nightmares, maybe the television would be enough to keep him from zoning out or falling asleep. He knew that probably wouldn’t be enough today but he settled down anyway. He thought he zoned out again briefly but he was quiclly brought out of it yet again by a scarred hand, which happened to be pushing a hot chocolate at him and wrapping him in a blanket, and sitting next to him. The scarred hand belonged to the scarred faced nothing who sat next to him who just  _ knew,  _ and somehow that was something. It wasn’t anything like enough to fight all the shit and the pain that Andrew had been through, but it was something. Neil was something, something dangerous and stupid and still possibly not real, the jury is still out on that one. But for now he’s Andrew’s something, a something who is sitting on the couch next to him and watching some mindless cartoon because he knows it helps settle Andrew. This thought calms him more than he’d like to admit and he’s soon drifting off into a dreamless sleep on the softness of Neil’s chest.

 

He wakes to something moving underneath him, he immediately tenses up but it smells like Neil so he doesn’t go for his knives. Neil, it seems, is trying to move out from underneath Andrew but Andrew finds there is nothing he wants less than for Neil to do that and so he groans and wraps his arms around Neil. Neil pauses before running his fingers through Andrew’s hair and whispering about needing to use the bathroom, and so, Andrew (albeit grumpily) lets him go, and has to sit up because lying down is never the same without Neil.

 

Neil comes back with a mug of hot chocolate for Andrew and a mug of tea for himself and Andrew’s head feels a little better, better enough at least for him to ask yes or no and lean on Neil whilst awake when given an affirmative. His head was still fuzzy, and today had been a bad day, but it was getting better, and hopefully tonight the nightmares would be hidden by dreams of blue eyes and red hair, and scars that somehow made Andrew feel safe. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy, its not really my usual soft Andreil i know but i hope you like it anyways. As always please leave comments and Kudos, They Are How I Survive. Thank u for reading!!


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